(Disclaimer: this picture solely nothing to do with the post I am going rant below, just use it for a photo for this blog entry and it's closely related to what I'm about to say)

I know that I have been dead for so many months on this page. I am not only dead here but also, I am dead as an individual. I honestly felt that this three years in exchange for a very, not really useful degree paper chase that resulted in having no social life and limited social circle. It is because all the accumulated fatigue, the late night frustrations and the constant rush to complete all the deadlines, irresponsible people who are supposed to act like mature adults who give no two shit about work (excuse man, how the hell did they even come to smu in the first place)

I feel like dying inside because whatever I do, I can never feel enough, smart enough to feed in this culture. I honestly felt like I am trying to be average? I am not kidding when I am saying that I am the reason for all the As and Bs in the class. Cause bell curve get it. Like today in my life of 23 years, I honestly felt that I have accomplished nothing, no first pot of gold and secure a good job and earning my own allowance for my future next time.

The only thing that I did accomplish last year so far and no regrets in life is probably the plunge to travel all alone, adapting in a foreign country. It was an experience that I would never ever trade in my life. And just a random thought. Can't believed that everyone is obsessed with the number of likes. zzzz dilute the quality of content. That's probably one of the reason why influencers choose to increase their followers via unethical methods. lol how tiring if everything must be measurable in terms of "likeness" in real life and also instagram. Whatever.