Supported my friend for best model singapore and she's really gorgeous! It was a great night with all the disco balls and squeezing with foreigners for dance floor. Thank god for Jas kon's protection and alan as bodyguard or we would................

will be heading to genting onwards, so check out this space xxxxx

It feels empty, and time doesn't take away those pain don't they. But we all emerge stronger.

 That cap was brought by my brother and decided to camwhore with his cap LOL



i don't know what happen to my eyes.






                this texas chicken burger which tasted horrible BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

this is the moment of my life, tonight tonight tonight~~ Anyway i will be heading to genting soon with my friends and the news....... just shattered my heart. Bus went down the hill and 37 people are dead and i'm heading like next week??????????????? I'm damn worried but i've no idea what i can do besides praying hard for safety. I think i should stuff in food in my bagpack and some camping equipments and of course!!!!!!!!! WATER (how can i do without you) if i didn't die in the accident and manage to survive.

WTF WHAT AM I TALKING. I think i'll be back safety la guys hahahhaha, don't worry. Ok meanwhile stay cool, stay fun and enjoy holidays! YAY YAY YAY.

"Having surrounded with people who love you, is the best feeling ever" never will i going to let them down by wallowing in self pity that i don't even deserve. My self worth is still shinning. Yes it definitely must.

I guess, emotions are the most powerful weapon against me, with that i couldn't agree less. I am not sure what should i share today, but i guess i will just go with the flow. They always said "Time heals and we all knew it" but it didn't seem for my case. Every morning i'm like going through slow death trying to pick up all shattered pieces within. Why am i feeling this way? Why can't this feelings go away.  As much i hated how I am feeling right now, i just couldn't seem to get rid of those uneasy memories that make me really upset at night.

Does anyone truly understands how hurtful to love somebody who is oblivious to anything? And news just have to spread like wild fire and all people gave me the look was that they are either disappointed with it or they thought "we will worked out till the end". Why? why that look. Really. I have honestly put in my all to get something this in return that i don't deserved. Was it even fair? I guess not.............

ok a supposingly long post became short cause i can't seem to comprehend my thoughts into words lol. But i guess the lines on top pretty sums up everything. I really think i'm too fragile to the point that i might just crumple and collapse. I don't think, i'll ever see you ever again since, i will be having my internship for 6months instead of usual 3 months in school and then TEP 3 months. But whatever it is, move on, move on and move on. I miss you, like really really alot................

(anw ps. I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

sorry for reading this, but thank you whoever who support me silently and encouraging my blog. Anyway the pictures nothing to do with the post but ya, that's my lovely babe. Went to Republic polytechnic and it was awesome. Replica of Science centre and national library. Omg i feel so good now lol lol. thank you blog. :) )

The truth is that when seeking love, what we’re really seeking is something to make our lives worthwhile. Unfortunately, if you find that foundation in someone else, once they are gone, your building collapses.


....

And then just like that, in one moment, one sentence, and one look, it’s gone.

“I don’t want to be in this relationship anymore,” he said.

Now I wake up and my first thoughts still tend to be about him. But now they are more about the absence of him. I remind myself that I have to get out of bed and navigate through my day even though at the end of the day, he won’t be there to ask how it went and to really listen to my response. When something wonderful or hilarious happens, or something tragic and soul crushing occurs, I cannot call him to share it, to help me make sense of it, or to simply say it out loud to someone else who cares about my outcomes. Yes I have family and friends. But it’s not the same. It’s not the same as sharing the news with a person whom you’ve been navigating through life with for the last five years as part of an exclusive team. Friendships are different. I know that I can call my friends. And they will listen. And they will share their thoughts or attempt to reframe mine or simply just try to distract me. But I want to call him. The man I love. The man that I have loved for five years. The man who I have shared my life, my dreams, and everything in between with. The man who, inconvenient as it is, no longer seems to loves me in the same way.

It is almost more difficult to lose the partner than the lover. I of course miss his touch and his sweet kiss, and cuddling with him and the whispered promises of forever. But what really seems impossible for me to comprehend is this idea that I lost my friend. My family. My person. My confidante. I cannot grasp that I am alone. Without him. That I have lost him after five years of us. That I have to readjust my view of the word from US to I. We had a plan. A vision. Inside jokes. An entire world constructed between the two of us. And now it feels like I was kicked out of that world. Or perhaps he set fire to it and suddenly all of the pieces are crumbling and fading and in time will feel as if they are from a different time, a different life.

The strange part is that I am not even sure if “I want him back” is the most accurate phrase for my feelings given that my mind does believe that I should only be with a person who truly wants to be with me. A more accurate sentence would be more like, I want to forget this entire episode ever happened and go back to who we were together. Two people who work at it and it works. Two people who share a space and a dog and a ton of memories. Two people who were moving smoothly through life achieving goals and growing together until one moment, one sentence, and one look, changed everything.






Why does thoughtscatalog seems so relevant.

Thing about life I have learn is, "never put your guard off and be too comfortable with somebody else." Because when you're to comfortable, you learn to stop trying/putting efforts in whatever you're having. Pretty disappointed to see how relationship couldn't withstand problems/looking at friends dealing with breakups. We're different in nature so why can't we bridge the differences? And that best ever classical excuse was " we don't meant for each other and we have clashing personalities" big LOL (laugh out loud here sorry). You mean you thought that you're dating your "assuming clone" all the time? Joke. And i couldn't agree more than love is a pure waste of time unless both are game for it till marriage. Too young, to know what's love. Never will I gonna spend months/years on another person effortlessly to get back all the pain i couldn't ever imagine.

Anyway the BBQ was held at Reuben's house and sure, stunning place indeed. The gym facilities are cool and there's bed beside the pool area. The toliets are automated and everything is in clear glass window panels. Lucky boy. That's Elysia, Reuben's sister/ :)

 That's ah boys to men. Times passes by quickly and everybody is either in university or last graduating year in poly. Going mark 10 years of friendship. :)


Bought cabbage but end up nobody ate HHAHAHAAHHAA.

 shabu shabu. Even the BBQ pit is using stoved and our charcoals and fire starters are redunant. We went home around 4 am and talked about life under the shelter on the sofa. Was so tired that i slept on the sofa cause it was too comfortable. Missed tution and now i'm gonna head to tution. Torturous. It was good, it was good and hopefully the end of exam would also start the good of internship. But bad part was, i never get to see my classmates again cause i'm the only extra one..................... what the hell. Signing off with a great note and, happy birthday singapore! (ps. thanks for producing so much capable people and your awesome competitiveness and high living standards. :) )

I'm feeing miserably upset.

Sometimes, I really wished that I have eyes not to see, and ears not to hear because everything just going to hurt me deep. I don't know or i can't help but to wonder if this friendship was built on the basis on grades, or was it built because we can connect well? And everytime, my eyes feel like welling up because i see things that i should be seeing/hear things i shouldn't be hearing. "why?" is the question repeatly asked. I could forsake all the credits and give it, and yet, everything I'm getting back wasn't quite the outcome i expected.

In all else, i pray to god that i'll forget and things will get better.