Was trying to recover my lost username and password for my project and started searching on my iphone note and came across something unexpected. It was dear diary, in which contain heartfelt words that I wished, I read it again before everything happens and on the day of quarrel itself. "While sitting down and look at the sky, i told her i want to marry her one day and make her my wife. And i meant every word because i love her so much" And all of sudden, emotions sudden engulfed in waves and my eyes became teary knowing that acting strong front isn't gonna suceed in the end.

Sometimes i open my curtains and look up to the sky before sleeping. Was it really something destined to end/could we fought harder? No doubt we do have different perspective and personalities, but we did share something incredible. Everything only started fall apart when we started being too comfortable with one another. Like instance texting an hour later, didn't text earlier would turn to be something massive. I know it isn't the time to think about the past, but every day it's like a daily struggle. Everybody's telling you to move on and you're not listening.  How i wish i could always be understanding enough to know what's on your mind and control anger at slighest matters but all this comes too late. It's true that emotions always impair judgement. I wished, you're really happier now.


x

"Then you realise, something you haven't really realise, that what makes love gold, is the genuine heart that doesn't stop caring". Today's all well and I found that I'm capable of achieving something I dream I never make it and I receive a good news with combination of bad that I've no idea how to react. Let's hope that it will be a stepping stone for my endeavours in future. You can do it.


:)

I think i will never be able to recover from such heart ache ever again with bittness so strong. I don't seem to have any distant memory of that familarity of my love anymore.

Everything from an year ago was wiped out, completely which i conclude that the heart is capable to turning to steel if need be. I need solitude but not for long. Meanwhile, let us all rejoice for this girl who's naive enough to fight alone for love. ...Any idea what's the best part? He still avoids and left her dealing with bits and pieces to force her to muster her courage to let go.

"Enough is enough." Thats what he wants to hear.

God taught all humans being to love, but they didn't teach how to stop. That feeling is known as sensitivty and emotions which we are all familar  of. Yet, it was one of the vulnerabilities that were put to test, it was the one that used against me. Words that came from the one you love so much, hurts so much that tears just trickle down continuously. I used to wonder why people often get themselves into depression/having to have sucidal thoughts, but now i fully understand that, that fighting for your whole life alone is miserably tiring.

I was on the phone, ignorance of every existence and focus just on conveying what my hearts tell me. What could possibly against us, if we are against them? I said. I explained merticulously my point across and all I got in return was repeated sorry to conceal all wounds and hurts by apologising. She was clenching with last bit of strength in hope to pull things through and she knew that something was missing, her "dignity". It was something of value to her but she couldn't care less back then. She felt an ache in heart. She couldn't understand why everything was coming from

the guy who once promised to break down the barrier and agrees to fight all cost.
She couldn't accept it, and felt really bitter about whole situation like a year's memory just dusted into thin air, and back to chapter 1. Was moving on easy? Sure it did but she choose not to. She decided to place all her remaining pieces of hearts into bet tomorrow, hoping it will be a closure/continuing once and for all. She never want to meddle something with "love" again.


x

Before i start the post, i posted actively on this blog for 3 days! I deserve a pat hahahaha.

While is hazardous outside, i thought i should just....... go for the movie premier and it was really great!!!!!!!!!!! Was coughing badly while waiting for lrt arrival and my N95 (why 95? haha) mask doesn't seem to trap all the dust particles that's flying in my nose and throat. Eyes are getting more stingy and I wanted to wore that out until people stare at me like they are judging me.............. omg and i took those specs out lollol. Light brown pencil trim and i'm improving my skilllllls!!!!!!! I AM.



Always thankful that my mom gave me a pair of pretty eyes with double eye lids, love you :*



carrying pop corn and papa was being nice to accompany for my movie. Hope i can win more movie tickets and bring more friends with me to watch!!!!!! :)


CHEEZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

          
      "My the forces be with you during this tough haze period."



      i know everyone is gonna chide me for doing this but..............




                                                                 YOLO.


decided to take off my mask and take with the haze but it failed but haiya, i yoloed and afterthat i cough like nobody business boooooooo i'm a bad girl :((((((((


That was before bath and my lips are cracking and i need sleep to teach my kid chinese tomorrow. Goodnight and god bless. Can't wait for driving lesson on 3rd july so that i can complete my lesson for practical test to rent a small car. Meanwhile, time to sleep nights......................



anyway! You can ask me anything on ask.fm/CelineBleh and my response time is roughly 1-2 days i promise. Would be happy if you write your name instead of keeping a secret. Pls don't tell me i'm talking to a stalker/pervert.

:(

                                                                       xxxx

They often said, " The end marks a new beginning" and people who loves you will never leaves. Voices of silence echoed.  I'll be strong, i will be. What's left behind was a reminisce of photographs and a graduation bear of promise "i never leave you alone. While it's hard for everything to put aside, it's even harder to start trusting people and building it all over again.

But till the day i suceed, i wanna thank you for stepping into my life.
It's not gonna be easy, but it's gonna be worth it cause fighting spirit never dies.

..............

Waiting for mom to be back for my dinner, feeling really hungry but blessed to have so many friends surrounding me willing to share a listening ear/ to have simple dinner. I can't be more grateful to ever to say that they are the my friends that i'm gonna stick with for good :) Thank you and thank you.

I'm picking up day by day and as this walk in life continues, i'll unfold more things that yet to happen to learn. Till then, I'll live, love, enjoy life and hopefully....... it would be a time to re-light the spark of love for god. I'm happy, i will continue be.

I can understand why the farmers are burning the forests, plantation and everything just for the sake of earning money because, it's hard to survive in this society now. However, i cannot tolerate how authorities are not helping to educate those farmers on the cons of burning = resulting to haze over the spread of region in indonesia, malaysia, singapore or giving them incentives for not burning. YOU MEAN THERE'S NO OTHER ALTERNATIVE MEH???????????????????? (IN CAPTION)

We are the consequences. WE HAVE TO FUCKING BEAR YOU GUYS CONSEQUENCES.

It doesn't make sense when animals are killed, homes destroyed and trees are burn down. What's the point of having money when you can't even have health? It's quite retarded to have a pile of money beside your death bed and you can't spend it. Maybe you can burn them as offering while your bulgy blue corpse in the coffin due to suffocation of toxic air. Does money have to be the cause of everything? Does it have to?

The world is dying because people are getting more selfish. They think for themselves, but they don't spare a thought for the future generation. Its funny how the government over there are ruled by group of elite, educated people making decisions for the country and yet they lack of basic science knowledge to know that the world is facing climate crisis/people are dying from the haze.

For all the investors that are pumping their money in the deforestation act for palm oil, you are gonna spend more money in your health. Not now, but the health effects in future. They say "karma revolves around" and yes, it will find you. I don't blame the farmers cause they are just carrying out orders by authorities/forced by circumstances, but i do blame selfish rich people who are flattering their wealth or live day by day just to see money rolling inside bank without contributing back to the society. You know those hundreds of dollars in sing converted to rumbiah is like wow pow, sufficient to stop (hopefully) but reduce. I'm typing in the room with the air-con running and wearing a mask.............




LOL.



Did some stretching yesterday with mask and i thought..... i should drop by this blog. Really hope that this haze gonna stop soon cause i'm feeling really uncomfortable.

" It is very common for introverts and extravert's to be attracted to each other. The outgoing personality of the extrovert is entertaining for the introvert and the quiet nature of the introvert provides a sense of stability and calm to the extrovert. Unfortunately, the very things that attract them to each other can also drive them apart. When two such opposite personality types are attracted to one another, they must understand that their social habits will not be compatible. One will want to be out with people constantly and the other will cringe at the thought."

x

I felt so touched reading genuine nice comments from anonymous on ask.fm. Usually on formspring I'll get pervertic questions like "what's your cup size", "do you masterbate" and stuffs similar to like this which is damn gross. You wonder why all this people exist in your formspring cus they obviously relies on such question to curb their horniess which is damn retarded lol. Thank god for nice people on earth on my ask.fm which never fail to make my day by asking how my day was, how my smile was beautiful. You guys are sooooooooo sweeet, i'll never forget ya all.  :-)



                                                                  i don't deserve this :(

Pardon me for always updating so slow and yet, the reader viewer list always jumps by 20, 30, 40... and so fourth. I know i'm a big fat liar to say that I will post something interesting that is why people still continue coming to my blog and support a dead blogger....... I know i'm guilty for this but what to do, I have tons of workload waiting for me and honestly, i don't even have time to spend my time with my family and friends much to say, this little space of mine. Appreciate that you guys waited patiently and for that you deserve a virtual kiss. (insert thousands on missle kisses pew pew)

But a quick update would be, thanks to all support i've earn myself a $100 cathay voucher for the restaurant!!!!!! Gonna arrange with my parents and bring them out for a sumptuous dinner. I'll bring my dslr and do a quick review here, so do check out soon like really sooooon. Meanwhile..... just continue love me. Hehe. Oh and yesterday! I watch Pee Mak, great movie which i highly recommended everybody to watch, be it you are a horror fan or a comedy fan. It's a nice mixture of both and, i teared in cinema so bad. It was the saddest movie on life.




Really impressed how much mak loves nak. He knew his wife was a ghost and yet he choose to throw away the buddist amulet and continues to compliment his wife beautiful and the dishes........ though they are just dead leaves and worms. Then was her using her powers to let him win the funfair so that he could win a doll for their dead child. Really sad when she cried that all she do was because she love him very very much and then he love her too. Really the nicest movie cause all the ferris wheel, haunted house and carnival games are in the village itself and when you watch it it's like........... you're sucked into the scene and you could really feel the love so strong between a human and a ghost.

It's just so sad so sad urgh.

But thankfully there's a happy ending and i feel so happy for them. Love this movie alot cause like, it's so funny as well. It gets quite twisted and confusing in the middle that i don't know who died LOL. Hehe catch it if you haven't cause it definitely worth every penny/every cent of your ticket. #1 box office in thailand and singapore!!!!!!!!!!! Congrates. Tell me how is it when you watch it.

here's the ost song for the movie, been addicted to it since yesterday lol. Like really immerse into the scene when you hear of the song.



wow really a long post. Hahahahahahahaah but always glad to share good things MUST WATCH AHHH :)