Little thoughts
- 3:40 PM
- by
- celinebleh
Before i start my day well, i thought i should really visit my blog. Indeed, i have spend my whole night trying to figure out why this relationship so different from the rest i ever had. The feeling is totally different, is no longer about being happy but really just" you and me against the world regardless"
I know it may sound absurd that we have been together for two weeks and yet not, reach the level of intimacy that most of the couple does, but being with you really seemingly perfect. In future there will definitely be times when we quarrel over slightest things, be upset over some words or even disappointed at each other, but i know that eventually this person is someone i really hope to spend with for the rest of my lives.
I remember how my previous boyfriend used to ask me this, "don't you think of the future of us?" And i hesitated and gave lots of excuses. One of the excuse that i insisted that i was right was that we should be focusing on the present and not, fantasizing how perfect the future is but reality it's not. To be honest, back then I was almost certain that somebody, at some point in time will definitely step into my life in future. But i kept it to myself and thinking back, sometimes i really wonder why did i stayed so long.
Maybe part of the reason was because I'm really easily attached to people. I love receiving messages early in the morning to start my day well, having somebody to share a plate of chicken rice together and somebody to give you a tight hug whenever the days are bad.
I love to laugh, I love to travel. And that's why, i really appreciate people who's willing to spend their time to explore the wildest adventure, impromptu gate crashes to friend's house, having last minute plans to overseas and just live, love and laugh. I really don't mind spending the last penny just to watch people happy, because life is really short. You never know when you might be diagnose with cancer, you never know when it's the day you will get hit by the car while texting your love one.
And i get really disappointed when my actions are not appreciated, people doubting my sincerity when i really put my heart into it. The feeling is indescribable and overwhelmed, it's like on surface you're acting on strong front but inside, your heart feels like it's gonna shatter into thousand pieces and tearing apart. But i do understand that sometimes words alone is just isn't not significant enough, but actions really do. Being appreciative of everyday, everything will start everything right and goodness will just flow.
I love god so so much. Honestly, god really dotes on me a lot. Sometimes i really think that i don't deserve all from god, because I have caused just so much sadness and anger to the people around me. It hurts me to see anybody upset and yet unable to do anything. But I've got to agree that in love, all is selfish. People are even willing to die for their love one, to elope together despite consequences and criticism. The intensity of love, is what makes stories so beautiful.
Just while typing this, I came across this article while googling how to love.
" A woman i know once explained why she's been happily married for 25 years. A relationship has its ups and down, she told me. The downs can be really low- and when you're in one, you have three choices: Leave, stay in a loveless relationship or choose to love your spouse"
And indeed, true love should be at its lowest, because it will hopefully be growing, as couple should give more and more to each other.
I have learnt so much for each and every relationship. Now stand foot at twenties, I know that i ought to learn how to think maturity and act like an adult, because life is gonna get tougher but what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.
Will be back for more thoughts! Ciao.
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